RESPONSIBILITIES OF MEMBERS OF THE WEDDING PARTY - P A R T 3 Copyright ©1999 Glenna Tooman, all rights reserved Memory Makers Event Planning LLC www.memorable-events.com Each of the members of your wedding party has specific responsibilities to perform at the wedding. All members of the wedding party, including children, should be present at the wedding rehearsal. However, the children do not have to attend the rehearsal dinner. If they are invited to the dinner, their parents should be invited also. All adult members of the wedding party and their spouses should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. If someone in the party is engaged or seriously involved, their fiancé or significant other can be invited as well. All members of the wedding party should be present when the wedding pictures are taken. This may be either before or after the ceremony, or both. Following are the general duties of the individual members of the wedding party. The bride and groom may ask their attendants to assist in other ways as well, depending on the situation. Responsibilities of: Groomsmen, Bridesmaids, and Ushers G R O O M S M E N If the groomsmen are from out of town, they may be requested to pay for their own transportation to the wedding and for their lodging while there. Groomsmen often serve as ushers, seating the guests before the ceremony. If they are not serving as ushers, they should stay in their dressing room with the groom and best man after the pictures have been taken, out of sight of the arriving guests. It is tempting to mingle with the guests, but don't give in to temptation. Everyone can mingle at the reception. Groomsmen act as escorts for the bridesmaids and stand near the best man during the wedding ceremony. The groomsmen should attend the reception and remain in their tuxedoes for a reasonable length of time before changing, preferably until most of the guests have left. After changing, their tuxedos should be given to the best man, or another designated individual, who will see that the tuxes are returned to the rental shop. (If the groomsmen paid for the rental of their tuxes, rather than the groom, it is their responsibility to return them, not the best man's.) The groomsmen should help with clean-up and removal of decorations after the reception, if requested to do so. If the ceremony and reception are being held at the same location, the groomsmen may be asked to move chairs from one area to another, set up tables, and do anything else needed to quickly prepare for the reception. Groomsmen do not stand in the receiving line at the reception. B R I D E S M A I D S During the ceremony, the bridesmaids walk down the aisle, either alone or with the groomsmen, and before the maid/matron of honor. After the ceremony, they will be escorted by a groomsman as they follow the maid/matron of honor and best man up the aisle and out of the sanctuary. They then proceed to the site of the reception as quickly as possible. They should plan on remaining at the reception until most of the guests have left before leaving or changing out of their wedding clothes. If needed, they should help with clean-up and removal of decorations after the reception. The bridesmaids do not stand in the receiving line at the reception. The bridesmaids may be asked to pay for their dresses and shoes, depending on the bride's budget. They may also need to pay for transportation and lodging if they come from out of town. U S H E R S The groomsmen may serve as ushers, or the groom may choose other individuals to serve as ushers. Plan on having one usher for every 50 guests. If people other than groomsmen serve as ushers, they should be dressed in tuxedos that are similar to those worn by the groomsmen, or in matching suits. Ushers should not be dressed in casual shirts and slacks unless the wedding is casual. The primary responsibility of the ushers is to seat the wedding guests before the ceremony. Ushers will be given instructions at the rehearsal about where honored guests, such as mothers of the bride and groom and grandparents, are to be seated. If the reception is being held at the same location as the ceremony, one of the ushers may be asked to accept gifts at the door, then give them to a person who has been designated to take gifts to the reception area. At the end of the ceremony, after the wedding party has exited the sanctuary, the ushers will return to escort the mothers out and to dismiss the guests, unless the bride and groom choose to do it themselves. The ushers should be able to direct guests to the location of the reception, whether it is being held in another room in the same building or at another location. They should also be familiar with the location of coat racks, rest rooms, nursery, and any other areas that guests might inquire about. If the reception is being held in the same location as the ceremony, the ushers may be asked to assist in moving chairs, setting up tables, putting out centerpieces, and other necessary activities to quickly prepare for the reception. The ushers do not stand in the receiving line at the reception. Ushers should remain in their tuxedos for a reasonable period of time during the reception before changing. After changing, the tuxedos should be given to the best man or another designated individual, who will return them.